Are You Living Your Parents’ Story?

By December 8, 2011Blog

Are You Living Your Parents LifeThink about it.

When you examine aspects of your adult life in the reflection of your parents’ what do you see? Do you find similar patterns of behaviour and beliefs? Studies show that while your adult story, packaging and life circumstances are different you are likely to find consistencies in the struggles and challenges that you face.

So, I ask; are you living your parents’ story?

Here’s a short story to illustrate the point I’m making. The issue is one man’s relationship to wealth. The name is fictionalized, the story is not.

John’s father was born into a wealthy family and his mother came from a poor family. John grew up rich. He was afforded every comfort and lacked for nothing. His mother, who grew up in near poverty raised John to see the bigger picture; that there is a world of people out there who do not live in such opulent comfort, families who worry about food and shelter from day to day.

She took him to a poor neighbourhood to see what it looks and feels like to be less fortunate. She relentlessly preached appreciation to the point where John suffered pangs of guilt just for being born into a wealthy family.
And then, when John was a teen, the most formative years of his life, the family lost everything and he watched as his parents struggled to rebuild. He heard “no we can’t afford it,” to his every request.

John moved out, went to university and got married. He married a wealthy girl. They bought a condo and enjoyed a comfortable life. They were both professionals, they had a combined income that allowed them to enjoy the good life and save for the future, worry-free.

As time went by, John pursued his dream of starting a business. He made one bad investment and lost everything. With a big family and growing debt, he and his wife went back to their former careers that provided security and monthly salaries but they still struggled with expenses.

John started coaching sessions with me. He mentioned having abundance blockages. When I asked him, what do you want me to help you with, what’s your goal? He answered “I want financial freedom.”

So I asked, “What would make you feel you have financial freedom? What has to manifest? ”
His list included:

  • Twice annual family vacations
  • Owning a house
  • A once weekly date night with wife and babysitter for the kids

And so on…

We went on an “abundance journey process” together.

Some of his childhood memories revealed a distorted perception that rich people are unappreciative and poor people are nice people who we should feel sorry for. Because of his mother’s influence, instead of feeling blessed about his abundance and empowered to help the less fortunate, he felt guilty and greedy.

Through the process of uncovering stored memories and releasing the emotional trauma trapped within, he forgave his parents and forgave himself for perceiving abundance as “negative, shameful.” He came to understand that he adopted these beliefs from his mom and carried this “abundance complex” into his adult life. Through coaching sessions John began to see inside that his inner truth, the real him didn’t believe that wealthy people, that he shouldn’t feel guilty for what they have and what they earn.

Through the guided journey process, he was able to thank his parents for the lessons they taught him and then he simply let go; he cut the financial connection that was the obstacle to “create my own story.” Now open to receive abundance, every item on his abundance list has begun to manifest.

Are you being held back by living your parents’ story?

Action steps:

  1. What areas of your life could use some shaping up?
  2. Scan this area/issue from past to present.
  3. How did this area manifest in your parent’s life?
  4. How did it manifest in your life through the years?
  5. Are you living their story? Did you borrow that story from them?

Perhaps you would like to let go of their story and re-write your own so you can live your personal truth. Individual or group coaching can assist you in moving forward and experiencing your story more fully.